♫BEEN A WHIIIIILE♫

Sorry for such a long time in-between updates. It’s been quite a hectic month or two, and I’ve kind of been putting this off. Getting a promotion at work, travelling, and just life in general have really put updating this here blog on the back-burner. But fret not! I’ve definitely still been keeping up with the training…for the most part. I obviously still go to sleep every night diapered; at this point, it’s become such a comfort thing, that I think trying to fall asleep without padding would actually be difficult. Really, the biggest difference is that I don’t even try to set the alarm every night. At best, it’s about once every two nights, but sometimes it will be only twice in a week. This isn’t because I’ve given up or reached some sort of complacency. Rather it’s because I already wake up at some point every night having to pee, so the alarm is somewhat redundant. I do keep doing it just to make sure I reinforce the idea of peeing in the night in case I start slipping, but I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point in the near future I stop the alarm altogether.

Sadly, I still have not woken up in the morning with absolutely no recollection of wetting, but there have been a couple of nights where the memory of waking up to pee is so hazy that it almost seems like it was just another part of a dream. For other nights, the routine of waking up in the middle of the night is kind of a 50/50. Some nights, I wake up and practically immediately start wetting, knowing subconsciously that’s why I woke up before quickly falling back asleep. Other nights, I kind of have to reposition myself to get into a more comfortable position and somewhat force the flow to get started. I think part of the hesitation on the latter nights is because I’m still worried about leaks. While I haven’t had anything too terrible happen, I feel like I still have this worry in the back of my mind that leaking would be terrible, when I need to somehow learn to accept it as a part of bedwetting. I do know that wearing cloth diapers to bed should in theory provide more protection, and thus a bigger sense of security, but I think I’m still a bit unnerved from my first try with cloth, when I had perhaps the worst leak to date. Either way, I really can’t be any happier with how the training is going so far.

Another fun little thing I’ve noticed is that it seems like my bladder control in general has gotten slightly weaker. Not enough to worry about having any real accidents during the day, but certainly enough that it’s noticeable. When I was younger, I could easily hold my bladder for hours. Nowadays, it becomes such a nuisance after even 30 minutes that I don’t ever really try to hold it when the urge arises, either finding the nearest bathroom, or using the bathroom around my waist. I think this happened due to a couple of factors. For one, the bathroom at my work is all of 15 seconds away, so frequent trips to the bathroom are not really a detriment to my productivity and thus I feel no reason to hold it in order to get more work done. Two, I’ve practically become a 14/7 user of diapers, basically wearing all the time unless I’m at work, with family/vanilla friends, or on the few days where I’m just not totally in the mood and decide to wear boring old underwear. Of course, this means that the majority of my time I just go whenever I feel the urge, as there is no real reason to hold it. Lastly, I used to always hold it for the entire 8 or so hours when I was asleep, which obviously contributed to strengthening my bladder. Now, I wake up at least once, if not twice, a night to pee, so I certainly do not hold it for nearly as long. While entirely related to the training, I do think that having a somewhat weakened bladder and having this idea of basically never holding it in is helpful to achieving my night-time incontinence.

So, that’s basically been the last two months or however long it’s been. While nothing major has happened, I’m pretty pleased with my slow-but-consistent fall into becoming a bedwetter. I might write another post soon that’s unrelated to my progress, so if you have any suggestions for what to write about, just post a comment below. As always, stay padded and have a great day!

Hugs,

Journeyman Bedwetter

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My History as an ABDL

While I do have a short write-up on my history as an ABDL under the “About Me” section, I’ve never actually written out my entire story anywhere, and thought it would be fun to share (and feel free to share your history in the comments as well). This will hopefully give you all some insight into me personally, and also give some insight into why I am trying to achieve my goal of bedwetting. As I’ve never written all of this out, I have no idea how long it will be. It might be 5 paragraphs, it might be a novella. I guess we’ll see.

First of all, I do want to make it clear that I never suffered any sort of abuse as a child. While I know this fetish/lifestyle can be a coping mechanism for those that did, I feel like sometimes all ABDLs get put under this generalization, which is just not true. Overall, I had a pretty normal and happy childhood, and I believe that this fetish is something much more innate to my personality rather than being a response to my life experiences. As a final note before beginning, I am the youngest of three, with my other siblings both being sisters. This might have played some sort of role, but if there really is a link between being the youngest child and ABDL, I haven’t figured it out yet.

As far as I’m aware, I didn’t have any issues potty training, and never experienced bedwetting past the “normal” age of 3 or so. I do remember a couple of accidents, like having a messy accident before preschool when I was about 4, and having a small wetting accident at school in the 2nd grade (though I did make it through the rest of the day being undiscovered somehow). I also remember the distinct smell of stale urine on my pajamas when I was very young (something that I only actually realized when I grew much older and wet myself on purpose, haha), though these night-time accidents were never large enough for me to require protection, or even leave marks on my bed as far as I remember.

Despite this overall success with potty training and being trusted to wear “big-boy” undies, my interest in diapers and other baby paraphernalia really does go back as far as I can remember. Although it’s pretty difficult to know how reliable early childhood memories are, one of my first is of me asking my parents to put me into a diaper, even after I was successfully potty-trained. Much to the shock of my parents (and the amusement of my sisters), I actually used this diaper, and I’m pretty sure that was the last time my parents ever let me do that. A bit later, when I was around 5, I remember playing “house¨ and other pretend games with a close (female) friend of mine. For some reason, one of the “props” that my parents left for use to play with were the old, unused diapers of my toddler years. I would often insist on playing as a baby, and of course that included wearing a diaper to go with it, which would usually just consist of stuffing the diaper into my underwear and not using it. I don’t think my parents ever knew about these playtime shenanigans, but the friend I was with definitely became annoyed at my insistence on wearing these diapers and always being the baby.

After the age of 6 or so, I can’t really think of any other “defining” ABDL moments or patterns until my pre-pubescent years. The first time these tendencies re-emerged was when I was 10, when I was very very curious about how it felt to poop my pants. I couldn’t tell you why messing was the first part of my interest to come up again, but being an impulsive young lad, I did it, sitting over the toilet with my super-hero briefs still on. From what I remember, I didn’t not like it, but was mostly just thinking “why did I just do that?” I somehow disposed of the soiled underwear, and forgot about the whole interest for the time being. Then, in 6th grade, we read a book in class called “Bud, Not Buddy”. For those unaware (which I’m going to assume is everyone), there is a part of this book where an orphaned child spends some time with foster parents who force him to sleep on a bed with a plastic mattress protector, because they don’t know if he wets the bed or not. The foster parents also have a biological son, who has no plastic sheet on his bed, as he is obviously a “big kid¨ who can control himself at night. In order to get back at the abusive foster parents and child, the protagonist uses the old “hand in warm water” trick to make the other child wet his bed. Now, we read this entire book out-loud in class. When we read this part, everyone was laughing, and saying stuff like “why are we reading this, haha¨. . . Except me. This was before I really new about sex or arousal, but while reading this portion of the book, I became extremely aroused, much to my confusion.

Again, nothing really happened for the next year and a half, until the summer before my 8th grade year (so nearly 13). One night, while watching TV, I got another weird urge, but this time to try and wet my pants rather than mess. I distinctly remember how difficult it was for me to overcome my years of toilet-training and pee myself. I was able to get a few dribbles here and there, and it felt pretty good, so I kept doing it. At long last, I was able to get a tiny stream going, and it felt amazing. Of course, I later realized that I was having a (not so) dry orgasm (I was a bit of a late bloomer, what can I say). Obviously, as this felt so great, I continued to do these small wettings, and even remembered my interest years before of messing my pants as well, which I tried a few times as well. These “sessions” would usually incorporate me staying up quite late on Friday’s, and wetting and/or messing myself after my parents went to sleep, and then ditching the evidence, or doing a quick load of laundry. During one of these nights, I had a crazy idea of searching something like “adult poop pants” in Google (those crazy good teenage-year porn searches), just to see if there was anything out there. That night, my mind was blown. I discovered all about infantilism/ABDL and the genius idea of using diapers instead of just wetting my pants. I discovered forums, stories, videos, all of this new crazy discovery (and yes, sorry, I went on the ABDL forums before I was 18, though I never posted, so…..eh?).

By the time I was 14, I was fully aware I had this diaper fetish, and did many of the usual methods to make my own “makeshift diapers΅, from using towels and a garbage bag with holes cut in it for plastic pants, to just stuffing my underwear with paper towels. Obviously, these didn’t work out all that well, but I finally got the chance to buy my first real adult diapers during a weekend when I was 16 and my parents went out of town. I drove to the local walgreens and picked up a large green bag of depends night-time protection “incontinence briefs”. Obviously, my heart was beating like I was having a heart attack as I went to the register, but I somehow forked over my $20 bill or whatever, probably blushing the whole time, got out of there as quickly as possible, and I had them! My first adult diapers! Now, yes, these were Depends, so they weren’t the best of the best, but this was back in ~2010 when Depends were still plastic backed and had 3 (3!) tapes per side, so they were slightly better than the Depends of today. Besides, these were 1,000 times better than what I had jury-rigged back home, so I was in heaven. This pack of ~30 diapers actually lasted me all the way until I left for college, as I used them as a sort of “special occasion” type treat (and because it was hard to wear at home during this time).

I really didn’t partake in anything ABDL related in college. For one, I had a roommate all 4 years, and I didn’t want to be known “that guy that wears diapers”, so I mostly just kept it all on the DL (as in down-low, lol). While I did have a couple of normal relationships in college, none of them ever incorporated age-play or diapers. Of course, I knew that this fetish was a major part of my sexual identity, and I still looked at porn/read stories, but that was the extent of my involvement with ABDL during my college years. Right after college, I moved in with one of my close friends, and, no longer living in dorms, I decided to finally get my first real ABDL stuff: Tykables Overnights, a NUK 3(? don’t remember which one exactly) pacifier, and some onesies from baby-pants. At this point, I was in heaven. If there was ever any doubt I was into age-play, it was gone by now. I might a been a biiiit lax wearing around my roommate a few times, and I’m pretty sure he noticed, but he was a bro about it if he did, and never brought anything up.

Sadly, I had trouble finding a job in the city I was living in at the time, and had to move back home for financial reasons. This actually didn’t stop me from accruing more ABDL paraphernalia, as I would order things online and have them held at a UPS store, where I could easily pick them up without my parents coming across the packages. However, unfortunately (and perhaps inevitably), my parents eventually found a package of Overnights hidden in my closet (my parents keep some old stuff in my closet that they sometimes use, so it’s not that unusual for them to rummage through it occasionally). To put it bluntly, it was embarrassing. They first asked if I had a bedwetting issue (sadly, not the case, lol), and I had to kind of come clean that it was a fetish. It basically became a “we won’t ask, but keep it out of our sight” type deal. I did find an in-between type job back home that was 2nd shift, which was perfect for me, both because I’m more of a night-owl, and because I could indulge in my little side while my parents slept.

Of course, this in-between job was really just a way to earn some money to pay of college loans and accrue some savings, and I found a job in my field in a nearby city about a year in. With this new job, I tried to move out as quickly as possible, both to cut the commute down from 40 minutes one way, and to also give me my own living space basically ever. I finally moved in late last year, and almost immediately began buying my dream-list of ABDL items: all of the diapers, stuffies, pacifiers, toys, clothes, etc. that a little could want. I pimped out my room to look almost indistinguishable from a 4 year-olds. I began wearing to bed literally every night. At this time, I also began looking for local ABDLs, mostly through Fetlife. I found a great community in a nearby city, and started a play/dating type relationship with one of the other members who lived closer to me. I went to my first CAPCon in March of this year and had a blast. Overall, as far as ABDL stuff goes, the last half of a year could not have gone better.

And that brings us to today. I’m now neck-deep in ABDL items, friends, and events. I write this blog, trying to lose my night-time continene that I’ve had for the last 20 some years. To be honest, I couldn’t be happier. I certainly had my troubles coming to terms with being into this type of lifestyle, but you can’t change what makes you happy, and this truly makes me happy. I realize looking back that I wrote quite a lot (who would have thought that telling your whole life story takes so long), but for those that read this far, I hope you enjoyed it and have a better understanding of my journey so far.

Until next time,

Journeyman Bedwetter

I’m not gone, I swear!

Sorry for the long wait in between these posts. The combination of being out-of-town for the 4th of July, being otherwise busy, and not hitting any big milestones has led me to kind of put this blog off to the side for nearly the last month. Over this time, I can’t say I’ve been the best at keeping up with my training. While I have worn to bed every-night (save one), I haven really been setting my alarms on any sort of regular basis. I’ve probably been setting my alarm about once every two days which is, well, bad. Good news is that I’m still waking up in the middle of the night more often than I did before, but not setting the alarm is quite a dangerous precedent to set.

Other than that, this last month has given me my first few tastes of one downside of bedwetting – leaks. It’s actually kind of funny. After going a full month with no issues, it seems like at least once each of the past few weeks I’ve had at least one not-insignificant leaks. I can’t pretend that some of these weren’t my fault. At least twice, I leaked because I had already wet a few times, and I should have changed before bed. Some other times were just unfortunate, like leaking out the top/side of a new(ish) diaper while laying on my back, or somehow getting a tiny hole in the front plastic of my diaper and leaking straight out of it on the first wetting (I seriously have no idea how this one happened). Perhaps the worst leak I had was the first time I used my cloth diapers. I used a night-time terry cloth diaper with a cloth stuffer, and just leaked everywhere out the legband of my plastic pants on the first wetting. I’m guessing this is an issue with my plastic pants being too loose, or me not using the best fold for night-time protection, but if anyone has any suggestions on how to mitigate these issues, please share. Luckily, my bed pad did help contain these leaks, so my mattress is still pretty clean, but they are something I will have to grow somewhat accustomed to.

Anyway, hopefully just writing this blog post helps reinvigorate my will to train. Hopefully I can reach some sort of milestone before the next update. Until then, as always, please feel free to leave a comment here or through the header at the top of the page, and as always, stay padded.

Hugs,

Journeyman Bedwetter

Update: One Month!

I’m a day or two late with this update, but it has officially been one month of training for me! While I can’t say I’ve made any super big milestones, I do feel like I’m inching my way towards my goal. I’ve found that I wake up quite easily during the night, and pee almost reflexively by this point. Obviously, the goal is for this to continue until I hardly remember waking up, and finally to not ever waking up when the need to pee hits. Either way, I’m pretty happy with where I stand after one month.

As for the last 10 or so days, I did do a pretty good job of setting the alarm and listening to the hypnosis. There was only one day I can recall where I didn’t set my alarm, and that was because I took a long 3 or so hour nap after work, and then didn’t set my alarm when I went to bed about 5 hours before I had to wake up the next day. I also listened to the hypnosis about 4 times during this period. I think I’m going to be aiming to listen to the hypnosis only every-other day at most at this point for a few reasons. One, I’m not sure how much it really helps and two, It’s pretty long and spending about 3 hours of my week listening to hypnosis is a bit much anyway.

In other news, I did order cloth diapers for those of you who were curious how they were for bedwetting, so hopefully by next week I can wear them for a full week and give a little update on how they work. I’ll likely not have an update this coming weekend unless something major happens, instead writing about one of the other topics (most likely my history as and ABDL), so look out for that.

Journeyman Bedwetter

Questions and Tidying Up

Thanks everyone for the questions and suggested topics you’ve sent over the past couple of days! I figured I would answer a few of the questions that don’t need anything more than a few sentences, and then list out some of the longer topics that I’ll try and cover more in depth. So, first off, here are a few quick answers:

  • I am located in the US, so all of my experience with ordering diapers is basically only through US companies (and Rearz, which is in Canada, so close enough). For those who visit this blog from Europe, I do know of a few UK/German based retailers, namely Cuddlez, BetterDry/Crinklz, Dotty the Pony, and Nappies R Us. The last one is actually a general UK-based reseller for, well, basically everything, so if you want a one-stop-shop for all nappies without the ridiculous shipping charges, check them out. They also have proprietary diapers under the “Get Nappied” brand which does have one of my favorite prints, the Lil’ Rascals.
  • Shipping speed: Again, being in the US, I’ve basically only dealt with US companies (save for Rearz). In my experience, every single company has their shit together and will usually get you your package within a week. Northshore earns bonus points as they will even do next day shipping for no extra cost, which is kind of crazy. Rearz does usually take a bit longer, but as it does have to go through international shipping, this is understandable, and I don’t think I’ve ever had to wait longer than a week and half for an order from them. Most of the companies I order from are quite large, and I have heard some horror stories of people trying to order through newer/smaller companies, so do be wary of that. I will say, my main problem is usually with diapers being out of stock, not with how quickly they arrive.
  • Shipping discreteness: Every single ABDL package I have ever received has been in an unmarked brown box with only the shipping label. Sometimes, the companies even go one step further to obfuscate the contents by having a pseudo-company name as the return address (i.e. ABU being sent from Strom Holdings). I might be a bit braver than most, but I have never been worried about having to pick up one of these packages from the main office of my apartment complex. If you live with others, don’t want packages of diapers sitting outside your door, or have any other reason, you can usually have packages held at a distribution center. I know this is the easiest with UPS, as they will hold any package at a UPS store, which are fairly common.
  • As far as precautions go for keeping my mattress/sheets dry, I only use a disposable diaper and washable bed pad. If I really wanted to, I could wear plastic pants over my diaper, or put a waterproof mattress protector over my whole mattress. I do neither of these as I have had very little problems with leaking, and I find both to be a tad bit uncomfortable.

Now, for the topics I will delve further into:

  • It seems a few people are interested in cloth diapers. These are almost certainly the best for nighttime protection, especially if you sleep on your side, but I have minimal experience with cloth diapers compared to disposable. I bought 2 prefolds about 4 years ago, but they became worn out earlier this year and I disposed of them. Currently, I have a single Rearz cloth pocket diaper and that’s it. In general I prefer the feel of disposable diapers over cloth (and I hate laundry), but I can certainly order some cloth diapers and try them out for other people’s benefit.
  • I plan to write about my history of being an ABDL, and basically what got me to this point of pursuing nighttime incontinence. This would likely just be a single standalone blog post. I might add how to get to know other ABDLs/join local ABDL communities into this post, or I might make that it’s own separate post. We’ll see how long it gets.
  • Anything else people request that I can put my 2 cents into!

In more boring news, I am going to be trying to organize my blog a bit better, having different links for updates, guides, and unrelated posts like these. Basically, I just want the blog to be a bit more user friendly, rather than a long scroll through months of writing. Hopefully, this means you’ll notice a bit snazzier of a blog in a week or so. Until then, stay padded my friends.

Journeyman Bedwetter

Other Posts On this Blog?

So, it’s been about a month since I’ve started this blog, and, to be honest, I can’t really think of anything else I’ll have to write about relating to bedwetting aside from the updates. The thing with these is that, come a month or two down the line, they will likely be relegated to once every 2 weeks, once a month, or just whenever I hit milestones, which could potentially be even longer.

Basically, I don’t want this blog to be void of any new content for longer than a week, both for the people who follow this blog (I know there’s at least one of you out there! Shoutout to my first follower!), but also because I like writing about inane ABDL bullshit. So the question becomes “what do I write about”?

I was thinking about doing diaper reviews, as I do have quite a vast array, but there is already such a good database of diaper reviews, along with capacity tests, over at ADISC that whatever I write would likely be redundant. However, one thing I haven’t really seen is “bedwetting specific” diaper guides, so I might do something like wear the same kind of diaper to bed for a week, then write a review on how well it works as nighttime protection.

Other than this, I could write about general ABDL things, like good online communities (although you likely either came from one, or are aware of most), or how to meet local ABDL communities, but I’m struggling for ideas past that.

This is where you come in! Please, share your ideas of what I could write about, either in this comment section, through the form on the “Questions? Just Ask!” tab, or directly to my e-mail at JourneymanBedwetter@hotmail.com. I would love to hear any and all ideas!

Happy Daddy Day,

Journeyman Bedwetter

Rewards and Punishments

As I have mentioned previously, I wanted to start a sort of “reward” system for my bedwetting training. Rewards give positive reinforcement for doing something, which is why they are so often used with children for things like potty training, homework, and the like. Most of the time, the rewards for children are simple: stickers, pieces of candy, etc. But rewards do also exist for adults, like with bonuses for performing well at work. I know most of this is obvious, but I just wanted to set up the contrast between the positive reinforcement of rewards, and the negative one of punishments. Personally, I feel that rewarding good behavior works much better than punishing unwanted behaviors. Just ask any actual child/teen bedwetter who was punished for wetting the bed if the punishments made them stop. Almost certainly the answer is no, and the only result from the punishments were an even stronger connection between bedwetting and unhappiness. Of course, everyone is different, so if you think punishing your lack of success will work, or if you are into the “kinky” idea of punishments, have at it.

Anyway, I want to associate bedwetting with positive feelings and attitudes, so I plan to set up rewards for both accomplishing the tasks involved in training (such as setting the alarm and listening to the hypnosis), but also for when I eventually wet the bed successfully. These rewards will have to be quite different for a couple reasons. For one, accomplishing the tasks associated with my training should theoretically be something I do every night, so the reward can’t be anything too crazy. In contrast, wetting the bed successfully could very well take a couple of months to happen, and after that it will likely be sporadic for quite a while. Another reason the rewards have to be different is because doing my training regiment is something I can fully control, whereas having a true nighttime accident is practically entirely out of my control. Thus, I can’t make the reward for successfully wetting the bed something very important to my wants and needs, as I’ll just end up resenting the training and reward system, rather than truly seeing it as a reward.

As I have been mulling this over in my head for the last couple of weeks, I do already have an idea of a reward for wetting the bed: purchasing records. Of course, wetting the bed is a reward in and of itself, but I believe the records would be a nice bonus and “trophy” for accomplishing my goals. I love music, and I like to collect my favorite albums on vinyl for a variety of reasons. However, since I already listen to a lot of my music through streaming services for practicality, buying records is definitely a tertiary need of mine, and something that I can potentially go months without doing. The other good thing about records is that they cost about $10-$20 per record, which (at least with my earnings) is a perfect amount for a “reward”. Thus, going forward, I will allot myself 1 record for each time I wet the bed. In the far-off future, this will certainly change to be for every 2 nights consecutively, 3 nights consecutively, etc. as I simply cannot afford buying 5 records every week, but that also makes this an easy, flexible reward system. You (likely) don’t have quite the same passion for records as I do, but a similar reward system can be used for a myriad of things; you just have to identify tertiary wants in your life that help improve it, without being consequential on your overall mental health. So, for example, do you like smaller, cheaper indie games? Make them a reward, so you can still purchase and play the large releases, but splurge that $5-$10 as a reward. Do you play a game with in-game purchases (if you use them)? Play the game normally, but only buy the credits or whatever after a successful nighttime accident. Love ABDL stuff? Only buy a new pacifier/onesie/stuffie as a reward. You get the idea.

Now, the “daily” reward is still something I’m struggling to come up with, and sadly this is the much more pertinent one. The struggle stems from coming up with something I would actually want on a daily basis, but that isn’t so important to my daily life that not having it will be seen as a punishment, as opposed to a reward for having it. So, for example, having candy as a reward doesn’t work because, unlike a child, it’s not something I actually want on a daily basis. Conversely, a “reward” of being allowed to drink soda is more of a punishment, as soda is so integral to my productivity and mental normality (thanks caffeine addiction!) that not having it would be quite detrimental to my day. In a similar vein, rewards like “playing video games”, “watching TV”, or “wearing diapers” would really just be punishments of “not being able to play video games, watch TV, or wear diapers” (the last of which would lead to quite a few other issues with this training anyway). To be honest, the front runner for my daily reward is (sorry for the lewdness) the ability to masturbate if I so choose. The issue with this is that it’s definitely not something I do on a daily basis. The combination of a demanding job and lower sex drive than when I was 18 makes it more of a “when the mood hits” rather than daily ritual type thing. The positives of this idea, however, are that I never know when that desire to masturbate will hit, so I’ll want to ensure that I always have the option. In addition, it is certainly not a need that I masturbate when the urge hits, but being denied the ability to do so will motivate me to complete the training tasks so I can do it the next day.

So, yeah, those are my ideas for the daily and long-term rewards. If you have any other ideas, please share, specifically for the daily reward as I’m not quite satisfied with mine. Other than that, here’s to another great week of training!